“Nora, I think it's time we moved in together,” Earl said to Nora. He said it there in the middle of the dinner they were having on their anniversary number three.
"Why? I thought we were fine like this,” asked Nora, who was not prepared for this change in her life. She has never liked the idea of living with another person. Neither friends nor boyfriends. She felt better alone since she thought that living with someone would only cause unnecessary stress.
“Well, that way we live together for a while, see how it goes, and then we can get married. That way you know before we get married. That seemed like a good idea to you.”
“My mom must have told you that,” Nora told him since her mom had said that a couple of times and she got along very well with Earl since he seemed like a beautiful boy and a great person. The problem is that Nora had never said that. The reality is that she has never wanted to get married. Maybe she would live with her partner but she never would get married.
“Yes, actually she did say that. That's why I came up with this proposal. We have been together for a long time and I think we should take that important next step for couples.”
“I have to think about it, Earl. These types of decisions cannot be made during dinner just like that. I promise you that I will think about it and I will give you an answer as soon as possible,” Nora answered, which was difficult for her because she he had a lot of things on his mind. She was working on things that even Earl didn't know about. A few years ago she would have told him but since they became a couple many things have changed between them. This change between them made her become closer to her other friend Fabian whom she had known since she was studying in college. He basically saw her and Earl's entire relationship. That's why as soon as she arrived at her apartment, she sent him a message to tell him the news.
Nora: Earl wants to live with me so we can get married.
Fabian: Really? Congratulations! You have been in a stable relationship for years now and I’m still here without a boyfriend. :(
Nora: We'll have to find you one then. That way we can have a double wedding. It will be so much cheaper now that I think about it.
Fabian: I would be amazing but I don't think that's possible. But I'm so happy for you. Can we celebrate your news tomorrow? I was going to meet up with a friend but you can come too. You'll like him.
Nora: So you already have a little friend. Maybe later become something else…
Fabian: No, he likes women. There is no chance.
Nora: Ay bendito! That’s ok. Tomorrow the three of us can have some fun.
From there Fabian told her that they were going to a restaurant and then maybe they were going to his place. When they finished talking, she took a shower and went to sleep. Before she went to bed she checked her email to see if the last publisher she had sent her work to had responded. She highly doubted it but wanted to be sure. She had searched several publishers to see if he was finally going to publish a book which had not yet been a success. All the publishers had rejected it. This was her last chance to receive a positive response. If she received another “no” she was going to have to start the process all over again. Otherwise she was going to have to continue working at her job which was no longer doing it for her. Obviously she wasn't complaining. The job paid her enough to live a comfortable life and she was writing which she liked but she had been there for a long time. The environment, the routine, and writing about things that no she didn't care he was tiring her. She already wanted something more. The truth is that being involved in a newspaper was not what she wanted to be doing at this stage of her life. She wanted to be making money from her books and possibly learning more things around the world. Nothing like her current life.
The next day she went to dinner with her friend Fabian to celebrate the fact that Earl wanted to live with her and then get married. The only thing is that her mind was on what had just happened a few hours ago while she was at work. The last publisher finally contacted her. She was instantly excited but tried not to get too excited. It could be negative once again, she thought. She opened the email and read it carefully to read everything correctly. She had been rejected again. This obviously disappointed Nora again. It meant that her desired life was still far away. She was going to have to search for other publishers to try to publish a book once again. It means she's still going to be stuck working in that old newspaper.
That's what Nora thought while Fabian hugged her and congratulated her on her since she and Earl are more serious about their relationship now. She only thought about her failure. He introduced her to his friend Mateo who she said two words throughout the entire dinner. She didn't care about anything at that moment. She didn't want to meet anyone new nor did she want to eat but she had to hide it. She spoke a little with Fabian and perhaps she paid attention to Mateo a couple of times. He liked to act very funny but Nora didn't find it funny at that moment. It made her sad that she was so disconnected from everything, but she felt even more sorry for her life. She smiled from time to time but her sadness was still present.
She stayed like this at Fabian's house. There Mateo asked her questions about his relationship with Earl.
"How long have you been together?"
“Three years,” she replied disinterested.
“Wow, that's a lot. A year ago I ended a two-year relationship.”
“That's a lot too,” she didn't look at him. She was just looking at the wall.
“Yes, I think so. How did you two meet?” He kept asking her questions with great enthusiasm.
“In an exam. Academic exam, not medical. That would be weird.” Mateo let out a laugh.
“Interesting,” Mateo responded and Fabian came to talk to them. He spoke more with Mateo which was good. She waited for them to be entertained to lock herself up in the bathroom where she finally started to cry. She couldn't take it anymore. She hadn't cried when she read the email or when she left work because she went to dinner with her friend. She thought about everything and started crying. She thought about the rejection, about her job, and about Earl's proposal. She leaned on the sink and continued crying. No one could hear her because they were in the room. It was perfect. It was the perfect plan until Mateo knocked on the door. It seems that he heard her.
“Are you alright?" He asked and Nora wiped her eyes quickly.
“Yes, I'm coming out,” she said and left quickly so he wouldn't see her. That didn't help at all. He came out of the bathroom and sat next to Nora. She tried not to look directly at him so that he doesn't see her face but he noticed it anyway.
“Were you crying?”
“Maybe,” she said because she would no longer be able to deny it. Maybe she hoped that he wouldn't tell her anything about her current state.
"But why? You are going to start living with your boyfriend. You should be happy,” he said and looked at her. She didn't answer him.
“No, don't tell me you don't want to live with him. You don't want to live with him?”
“You are the first to notice it and the first to find out,” she said with an impressed smile. It was ironic how in just a few hours he had realized something that no one had noticed.
“Is that why you are crying then?”
"Partly. I'm also crying because five publishers rejected my novel."
“You write novels?”
“I wrote one a few years ago and then I started to edit it so that five publishers could reject it,” she told him as she wiped away her tears. She didn't want to be venting to this man she just met but she couldn't help it. At least he had picked up on something that no one else had noticed about her.
"I'm sorry. You'll see that one day it will work out for you. I bet it’s a beautiful story. I'm sure it is,” the man told her and smiled at Nora. The woman’s situation seems very complicated to him. He didn't know exactly what to do further than trying to make her feel better.
“Thank you, but you haven't even read it. What are you going to know?” She replied with a weak laugh. At least she’s not crying anymore.
“I would like to read it although I understand if you want to keep it private. I just would like to support you.”
“I can send it to you. If you steal it from me and publish it with your name at least it will be published. It would be better than how it is now,” the woman told him and took out her phone to ask for his number. He gave it and she sent him her novel.
“It's a little long but it's not slow or tedious. Anyway, I would understand if you take a while to read it,” she told him and he opened the PDF she sent him.
“It has a good name. ‘What We Humans Hide’ is a curious title,” he said as he opened it.
“This is about a lot of people who are liars in their own way. The two main characters are inspired by myself and people I have met,” I explained and at that moment Fabian arrived. The three of them felt uncomfortable.
“I knew you were going to get along,” Fabian simply told them.
As soon as Mateo got home he started reading Nora's novel. He wanted to know her, understand her. The interaction they had at Fabian's house was not enough. He looked for clues in her novel to understand her situation and her essence. Maybe he wanted to save her in some way although he didn't know from what exactly. What he did know is that her story captivated him.
Themes about being someone who experiences a lack of romantic attraction and how difficult female friendships can be were very prominent in the novel. Although he didn't know much about Nora, he felt as if there were crumbs of her ideas and way of thinking throughout the book. With each thing she read she became more and more involved until he couldn't stand it anymore and called her to ask her about the meaning of certain aspects of the novel.
“She doesn't love her boyfriend. I'm only on chapter twelve but it's obvious. She feels uncomfortable with him. She limits herself when he is around and even changes the way she acts. He doesn't want him close either. You can tell by how she even puts pillows to keep distance from him when they sleep,” he told her, which made Nora feel satisfied knowing that he had reached that conclusion simply because of the behavior of the characters.
“Very good observation. It's true, she doesn't want him as a partner. To know why you are going to have to keep reading to know why she’s still with him.”
“I feel like it's because of her image. She has made it clear.”
“You are correct. Very good,” said Nora, happy to know that she had done a good job showing the meaning behind her story and characters. That happiness was cut off by Mateo asking her an unexpected question.
"And why are you still with Earl? Are you maintaining an image?”
She kept thinking about it but in reality it was not that complex. She was clear about her reasons.
"Because he is a very good person. I mean, you have to know him to understand. That's why even my mom loves him so much. He even spends his time doing charity work and once he even got involved in helping the feral cats here in Georgia. He has a big heart even with me,” Nora explained, which was almost a sufficient explanation.
“Wow, I understand that. Even for me it would be a difficult situation. In what way does he behave like that with you too?"
"He learned to speak Spanish for me because he knew that was something important for me in a relationship. He always makes time for me and my mom more than anything as well. There are many things that make it impossible to leave him,” he told her, making the call more personal.
“It's very difficult then, Nora. But you should also think about yourself a little.”
“Forget it, I'll get used to it eventually,” she said and laughed but Mateo remained serious. At the same time he remained silent because he doesn't have the right to interfere in her decisions. She was barely her friend. So he said goodbye with the excuse that he had to do something and continued reading the novel she wrote.
Earl asked Nora if she had made up her mind but she told him that she didn’t have time to think it over. It was true. She wanted to go back to Mateo but for the same reason she had not been able to do so. The last time she saw him was when they met three weeks ago. Though, with the conversation they had that day along with what he said to her in the last call she doesn't know how she will feel sharing the same space as him. He barely knew her but what he knew about her were things that no one else knew. She had gained trust quickly and now she regretted it. Why did she tell the guy she just met that she was dissatisfied with her relationship? It felt like married people who are looking for someone to cheat on their spouses with. She looked like a married man telling a woman he wanted to hook up with that he was going to divorce his wife. She also regrets telling him that she was disappointed that her novel had been rejected. She had to be fine because she still has a job. That has to be enough. There are people who don't even have that. She had to be grateful and not complain about her life but it was difficult. The only easy thing for her was to answer Mateo's calls.
“I want to see you, Nora. When can we see each other?”
“Mateo, I'm busy. Once again I’ve started looking for publishers to publish my book. You know how important that is to me,” she told him, which again made the man pensive. He wanted to help her but couldn't. He couldn't find a way to do it.
“I know, Nora. I know how important it is to you. It is also important to me that you achieve it,” he told her, which he didn't want to confess like this. He was getting very involved in the life of the woman he had just seen once. He doesn't have the right to do so but after talking to her and reading her work it was impossible for him.
“Thank you, Mateo. We can see each other this Saturday. Are you free?” Finally she told him because for better or for worse she needed to see him.
“Yes, I'm free on Saturday. Should we go get some coffee?”
Since then Nora had something positive to look forward to. She wasn't going to let anything ruin that for her nor was she going to let Earl take that away from her. She told him when he asked her to go out by message.
Earl: Do you want to go with me on Saturday to buy the book you want?
Nora: Sorry but I can't. I have plans with Fabian.
That way he was already quiet. That was the first time she lied to Earl. She had always told him the truth until that day. For some reason she felt like she had to hide her friendship with Mateo from her boyfriend. Perhaps because Mateo was a possible “threat” which could make Earl jealous. She didn't want to make him feel insecure.
Saturday came around and Nora got ready to go with Mateo to a coffee shop. He was going to pick her up so she had a weight off her shoulders. She wasn't going to have to drive there. Therefore she could focus on getting ready to go get coffee with him. When she was with men she didn't want them to think she wanted to be romantically involved with them so she limited herself to certain things. She didn't want them to think she did her makeup for them or anything like that. She even avoided giving them her number to establish boundaries between the two of them. It didn't always work but she always tried.
In the end she ended up putting on a striped shirt, some jeans, a coat, and the same boots she always wore whenever it got a little cold. They cost her two hundred dollars so she wanted to use them as much as possible plus she liked them a lot. She put on some makeup and then went out to wait for Mateo.
Shortly after, Mateo arrived in his gray Toyota Corolla and she got in.
“You have such a unique car, Mateo,” she told him as she got on and he laughed.
“Let's see, it's economical and it takes me to and from places.”
“No, obviously, that's what matters. It was just a joke,” she replied and looked at him. It was the second time she had seen him. She had somewhat forgotten his physical features.
“I know, Nora. I didn't take it personally,"He answered them and he put low music in the background. Nora didn’t know how to act infront of who she had confessed everything that was wrong with her life to. She didn't know if he was going to mention it. To avoid that she decided to ask him about her novel.
"So, have you finished reading my novel?”
“Yes, I have a lot to say about it. Good things obviously.”
“I'm glad you enjoyed it. That’s why I do what I do.”
“You know, I feel like I know you better because of that,” Mateo told her, which made her pensive. She thought about what he could have learned about her by reading that story.
"Let's see, what do you know about me?”
“The first thing is that you always want the best for everyone. Pity dominates you. That's what affects Samantha and you,” he told her and she already knew where he was going and he was dying to say something about her job and relationship.
"And what else?" She asked him to change the subject. She knew this was going to be an issue because of everything she had told him.
“I also know that you want an apartment in Isla Verde,” he said and they laughed. He also didn't want to get into her personal problems. But it was difficult for him because she gave him entry into her life. He already couldn't avoid thinking about how unhappy she is every time he even thinks of her name. He wanted her to have a happy ending like the one from her novel.
“Isla Verde is a very beautiful place. Well that's what I’ve heard and seen in photos. I haven't gone there or anything yet. I just think it's nice to have an apartment there near the beach,” she told him and looked at him. Mateo didn't look strong or intimidating. He looked more sensitive and tender. It suited him because of his sense of humor and way of treating others. Although she only met him recently, she admires the fact that he has a friendship with Fabian without caring about his sexual orientation. Few men would do that. Of course Earl would do it, but she highly doubts that any other man she has ever met would do so. She has even argued with other men about homophobia.
“Do you like the beach a lot?" He asked her about her plans to buy an apartment in Isla Verde, which in reality was more of a dream.
“No, not really. I've only been to a beach once in my life. But it's okay to go from time to time. I just like Puerto Rico, that's why I would like to spend time there to connect more with my background and Isla Verde is a nice place there,” she explained as she looked out the window. Acworth and Kennesaw reminded her of when she was a little kid. She lived there until she was nine years old so it brought back a lot of memories.
After a while they arrived at the coffee shop, which just happened to have a bookstore nearby. She thought about maybe going to buy the book she wanted there as well. She could tell Earl that she bought it when she hung out with Fabian if he asked her.
Mateo paid for the coffee although Nora didn’t want him to. When they got their coffees they sat down a table fence from the window. There Nora had no choice but to look at the boy who knew her secrets. She smiled delicately and took her coffee.
“Is it good?” Mateo asked him.
"Yes. What about yours?”
“It's good too,” he said and they were quiet for a moment. Then something occurred to him.
“How is publishing your book going?”
“I started the process again. Now they just need to give me an answer.”
“You know, I was doing research and I learned you could publish it yourself. It's complicated but possible. You can also publish it digitally or with a platform that allows people to publish books by themselves,” he told her to give her hope. That way she didn't see everything negatively.
“You looked it up?” She asked him, surprised.
"Of course. The same night I met you I started doing research on how to publish a book. I wanted to help you. I don’t like seeing you like this.”
Nora smiled and she felt grateful for the man that life had put in her path. Before that she had encountered many unfriendly people.
"Thank you. I already knew about it and I was starting to consider it,” she told him and now he smiled. He felt a little better knowing that she was looking for solutions.
“I really hope you do that if publishing your book traditionally doesn't work out. It would be a shame if your book never came out into the world,” he answered and they continued drinking their coffees.
“Can we stop by the book store before we leave? I'm looking for a book that came out a few weeks ago and I haven’t been able to buy it,” Nora asked him as they were heading out.
“Sure, Nora. I'm also looking for a book to read now that I've finished reading yours,” he said and they walked to the store.
They entered the store and they asked an employee where the book she was looking for was. The employee took them to the shelf.
Meanwhile Mateo continued grabbing random books and reading their descriptions. Nora was doing the same as well. She looked at him a couple of times without him realizing it and she couldn't avoid laughing when she saw him like that.
“What?" He asked.
"Nothing. It's just that I'm turning you into quite a reader,” she answered until she found one of the sections that she loved finding in bookstores.
“Look, these are some of the best books I've ever read. Everything she does she does so nicely,” she told her and pointed to Sally Rooney's books. Her favorite author.
"Really? Which one would you recommend to me then?”
“This one, my favorite,” she said and gave him the book titled ‘Beautiful World, Where Are You.’
“It has to be beautiful for you to like it then.”
“When I read it I felt as if all my stories were so immature. From there on, her stories have inspired me to continue writing.”
Mateo looked at her and put his arm on Nora's shoulders.
“Your stories are not immature and if I am going to read this it’s because I already finished reading yours.”
She looked at him and realized how close they were. She always avoided being this close to her male friends but this time she didn't do anything. They quickly separated after.
“Are we going to go pay now?” He asked because he felt embarrassed. He thought his action was disrespectful to her and her relationship.
“Yes, come on,” she told him. He still paid for everything.
On the way home Nora saw the two books and she got an idea.
“Does it bother you if books are annotated?” She he asked Mateo.
“I don't care, I think.”
“Before you read the book I'm going to highlight and underline the parts that I liked the most so you can understand why I liked it so much,” she explained to him.
“So I can read it from your point of view?”
“Something like that,” she replied and they fell silent. In person they were left without anything to talk about. It was difficult to tell eachother the things they did when they talked on the phone. Nora tried to find a topic of conversation even if it was a bit out of the ordinary.
“Do you believe in marriage?” She asked him which left Mateo thinking. He didn't know what to say. Maybe this was Nora's way of talking about her problem with Earl. He had to seize the moment
“Do you believe in marriage?” He asked back.
“I really don't think so.”
“And why?”
“Let's see, I've never found the point of marriage. You know, when I was little and they came up to me with the typical comments about 'when you get married' I didn't see myself doing anything like that. I didn't understand it. So there you have me, at like twelve years old, searching the internet to understand the reason for marriage. I still didn't understand the point of getting the government involved in your relationship,” she explained and Mateo laughed.
“Getting the government involved in your relationship?”
“Yes, well it's all a signed paper and all that stuff which I don't understand. Can't they just live together without the government getting involved? What is the benefit? So formal and legal,” she explained.
“I feel the same way. I wouldn't get married," he responded and she was happy as she always does when she finds someone who thinks the same as her.
“See, I'm right.”
Little by little Mateo felt more comfortable with her.
“But you don't want your party and white gown?"
“Oh no! Are you crazy? I'm not doing that. People do that for society and people who don't pay their bills. They also don't pay for the dress and the very expensive party. I’d rather spend that on a trip or a car,” she told him, causing him to laugh.
"So what are you going to do?” He asked when the joke was over.
“What am I going to do about what?”
“With the plans Earl has with you,” he said and Nora's face changed.
“Earl, right. It's very difficult, Mateo. He is a good man”
“Just for that reason you will be happy being his wife? Let's see, do you even want to be his girlfriend? You confuse me, Nora.”
“Mateo, this is my life. You are not living it. If you were living it you would understand me,” she told him and a lump formed in her throat. Mateo regretted his comment.
"Sorry. That was wrong of me to do,” he told her and looked at her briefly, “I want to meet him.”
“I think that's a good idea,” she told him but she was a little scared by the idea.
“We should invite Fabian too to make him more comfortable,” he responded, getting even more involved in Nora's problems.
“Yes, I think that will be good.”
Upon arriving back at her apartment, Nora began to annotate the book for Mateo. She would look at the ones she had made in her copy of the book and add them to his. She stays focused on that until she remembers the plan she has with him so he can meet Earl and see the situation she is living in. She didn’t know where to start. She thought he should start by asking Fabian if the four of them could get together. She sent him a message to see if he answered.
Nora: Can we get together with Earl one of these days?
Fabian: Sure. I'm free next Saturday. Does that work?
Nora: Perfect for me but I don't know about Earl. Can Mateo come?
Fabian: Why don't you ask him yourself? You guys get along very well…
Nora: Yes, it's true. I just want the four of us to get together.
The next day everyone agreed to meet at a Mexican restaurant. Nora wanted Mateo to meet Earl so he would understand her situation better. So that he can understand why she’s made the decisions she has taken. At the same time she was afraid. She was afraid of the way he understood her. She thinks that he will notice things that she hasn’t even noticed herself.
When Saturday came along, Nora got ready as usual and then went out to wait for Earl as he was going to pick her up. It was the first time they would see each other since he told her he wanted to move in with her. She was a little nervous about that fact. The discomfort in her rose when he arrived and opened the car door for her to get in.
“Thank you,” she told him as she got in and then fell silent. She didn't even want to look at him. He noticed this and thought something was bothering her.
“Are you okay, Nora?”
"Yes I'm fine. I just want to get there. I'm just hungry," she replied.
“We haven't talked much lately. Do you have an answer for me?” She had an answer but it wasn't the right one so she denied it.
"No. Sorry but I've been very busy.”
"That’s fine. I don't want to pressure you into anything,” he told her and remained silent. He was giving her time to think about it because he wanted her to be calm. He didn't want her to get upset in any way. He continued driving as if there was nothing going on but he couldn't help but worry about Nora's state. Seeing her like this brought him to a conclusion.
“Have your headaches come back?” He asked since he knew about her migraine struggles she had as a teenager. He saw her get sick a couple of times for that reason when they had just met. A few years later they went away but he thought that she was getting them again due to him putting pressure on her to live with him and get married.
“No, Earl. That is now a thing of the past. I'm just calm and I want to see Fabian,” she answered to see if he would stop asking her what was wrong. She was grateful that he was worried but it bothered her because it was nothing health related.
“Okay then. It’s better that way. You know that I just want to see you well, healthy, and happy.” Nora was tempted to tell him that in order for him to see her that way she will have to break up with him. Still, she couldn't be that cruel to say that to him. That's the problem of when two people who have good hearts get together.
They arrived at the restaurant and met Mateo in the same parking lot. Nora was relieved to see him. Instantly, she went towards him to hug him like he usually greets his friends.
“Mateo, I wanted to see you so much,” she told him as she hugged him.
“Me too, Nora,” he replied, then they separated to see Earl. They forgot he was there.
“Mateo, this is Earl. My boyfriend Earl,” she said, which seemed so unnatural to her every time she said it. It seemed so wrong to her.
"Mateo, it's a pleasure to meet you," he replied and they shook hands. At that moment Fabian arrived and saved them.
The four sat at a table. Mateo next to Fabian and Nora next to Earl. They ordered their drinks and started to see the menu. After a while there was silence and Earl decided to spark a conversation. This made him make Mateo into the topic of the day.
“Well, Mateo, what do you do for a living?"
“I fix cars. Mostly small things at the moment like oil changes and things like that but I'm learning how to do more things. My goal is to be able to completely fix a car. I really like cars,” Mateo told him a little nervously. He didn't want to embarrass Nora.
“Did you know that Nora really likes cars too? She wants to do things just like the things you do,” Earl told him and Mateo smiled.
“I had noticed it from the things she writes about. She makes many references to cars in her stories,” he responded and laughed. Earl didn't laugh.
“You’ve read her stories?”
“Just her novel which is wonderful.”
“She's never let me read anything she's written,” Earl told him, but at that moment the drinks arrived. That didn't stop the conversation.
“Nora, I thought you didn't share them with anyone so they wouldn't get stolen?” He asked.
“Well, since they’re not going to be anywhere I let him read it. I'll send it to you too,” she replied and drank from her glass.
“Earl, it's nothing serious. Actually, tell me about yourself. What do you do for a living?" Mateo asked him to try to change the topic.
“I work in engineering when I’m not doing good deeds with the money I make.”
“I noticed it. Nora told me that you help cats too.”
"Yeah. I set traps to catch them, get them fixed, and then we put them up for adoption or return them to where they were,” Earl explained. Mateo looked at Nora again. They continued like this until the food arrived. Fabian and Earl started talking while they were eating. Out of nowhere Earl asked him a question that Nora wasn't expecting.
“Well, last Saturday you and Nora did anything else besides drink coffee and buy books?”
“Last Saturday we didn't go out at all,” Fabian replied, causing Nora and Mateo to start panicking.
“She told me she did,” Earl told him and looked at Nora.
“She was with me,” Mateo said, also surprised because he didn't know about the lie.
“So that's what was going with you on our way here. You didn't want to face me because you lied to me. On top of that it was for a stupid reason. That's why you can't give me an answer to my proposal,” Earl told her and she felt horrible.
“That's not it, Earl. That's not why I can't give you an answer.”
"So what is it then?" Earl asked her in front of everyone. Nora couldn't do it.
“I just need time, Earl. And if I lied to you it was so you wouldn't feel insecure,” she told him and Earl stood up embarrassed. He doesn't want to act like that but it was a lot. It was difficult for him to contain his emotions at that moment.
“We will settle this privately. Sorry for acting like this here,” he said. Nora also stood up. Mateo looked at her disappointed but she still left and got into the car with Earl.
“What's wrong with you, Earl? Why did you do that to me in front of everyone?” Nora asked agitatedly. She truly was angry with him.
“I know I overreacted but so did you. You went too far, Nora. You lied to me. You’ve never done that to me before.”
“It wasn't in a bad way, Earl. Don't exaggerate things,” she told him and looked at him. This was the first time they argued this bad. They usually had some disagreements but nothing serious.
“These things had never happened between us before, Nora. This has to do with Mateo.”
“That's why I lied to you. I didn't want you to get all jealous and insecure,” she replied and ran her hand through her hair.
“I'm not insecure.”
“Earl, please take me home,” she told him and Earl gave up.
“Promise me this won't happen again and I'll promise you the same,” he said and she already wanted to be done with the argument. She wanted to be alone at that moment.
“I promise it won’t happen again.”
At that moment she looked out the window and saw Mateo outside. The car started to move and she looked as she was moving away from him, seeing him further and further in the distance until she lost sight of him. Then she received a message from him.
Mateo: You disappointed me.
Nora’s priorities changed at that moment. She didn't want to fix the issue with Earl or get her place. The car ride felt eternal. She wanted to get there for a new reason. It was at that moment that she finally answered his message.
Nora: Sorry to disappoint you. Please send me your address so I can fix this. I beg you.
He didn't say anything, he simply sent her the address. She knew that these things could only be solved in person so she was going to go to his house. She didn't care about other people's opinions but she didn't want to disappoint Mateo. Anyone but him.
As soon as Earl left her she entered her apartment to look for her car keys and the book she annotated for Mateo. As soon as she grabbed those things she went out to her car and got in. Even though she waited until she was ready to learn to drive and took driving classes, she was still afraid of having an accident. So she asked God to take care of her and would allow her to arrive safely at Mateo's place. Despite the fear that she had of losing control of the steering wheel and crashing, she got to Mateo’s apartment to fulfill her promise.
As soon as she arrived she knocked on the door.
“Mateo, it’s Nora. Please open the door for me,” she said desperately. She thought that he already didn't want to see her anymore. That was a lie. If he didn't want to see her he wouldn't have given her his address. He also wouldn't have opened the door so quickly either.
“I thought you weren't coming today.”
“I came to fix things. I drove here just for that reason,” she told him and he knew how important it was for her to be on good terms with him because of the last sentence.
“Come in, Nora,” he said and she entered.
“What did I do, Mateo? In what way did I fail you?”
“You're failing yourself, Nora. Your whole story about how you are looking for what you want and your happiness is a total lie. I thought it was true,” he said there in the middle of the room. They didn't sit down or anything.
“What are you talking about?”
"Ever since I met you I've been thinking about your situation. I understand you want a change in your life but you don't put the slightest effort into doing it.” “That's a lie. From the day I met you I told you that I am looking for a way to publish my novel.”
“That's not what I mean, Nora. What I mean is that you don't have the guts to tell Earl the truth. That is completely in your control and you do nothing about it.”
“But you already saw how nice he is”
“Yes, and that is not an excuse,” he said and she stayed silent. This was exactly what she feared.
“Let's see, explain to me how publishing a book will make you happy if the rest of the things in your life make you unhappy?” He finally asked her. That was what he had always wanted to know about Nora.
Nora was silent for a moment and thought carefully about what to say.
“I don't want to hurt Earl because he is a good person and I admire him.”
“That's just why you're going to be with him? You admire me too. You admire how I treat others and how I am with Fabian, right? Just for that reason you would be in a relationship with me?" He asked her and she answered his question with no hesitation.
"I wouldn't only do it because of that," she answered, which surprised both of them. He still didn't believe it and neither did she. She wanted to take back what she said.
“You’re not with him just for that. Then why are you with Earl?”
“I'm not talking about him,” she told him firmly even though she wouldn’t have wanted to have said anything. Seeing Mateo there and seeing how he mattered to her made her realize that at the very least she was attracted to him. To a certain extent, but she was.
“Nora,” Mateo simply said, not knowing what to do with her. Not knowing what to do with the committed woman that felt something for him the same as he did for her. Both of them are doing something wrong and forbidden.
“I think I see you differently. I don't see you as a friend," Nora told him, realizing that she liked the funny and tender boy she met a little while ago. What she thought was appreciation and admiration became something more. Instead of being something nice it felt so horrible for the both of them.
“I also see you differently but it's not possible, Nora. We must stay away from each other," he said and Nora got closer to him, worried.
"No. Mateo, not that. We can't stay away from each other. I need you. You're the only good thing I have right now. You are the only thing that feels right,” she told him and put his hand on his cheek.
“Then you know what to do. What you should have done a long time ago for yourself," he said and took her hand off him. She already knew what she had to do.
“It's hard,” she simply told him.
“Don't look for me until you do that. Until you get your life straight we cannot see each other," he said, which hurt him but he knew it was the right thing to do. If not, Nora was going to continue going from bad to worse.
"Alright. I’ll do it,” she told him, took the book out of her purse, and left it on the coffee table before she left. When she left she knew she was in for a long night.
She couldn’t sleep all night but as soon as morning came she went out and got into her car. He went straight to Earl's house. She knocked on the door and waited for him to open it. She was willing to wait as long as it took for him to open the door so they could talk. It didn’t take him long to open the door but he got worried when he saw her.
“Are you okay, Nora?”
“No, I'm not. I haven't been in a while,” she confessed and a lump formed in her throat.
“What happened? Please come in,” he told her and entered. She sat on the couch because she couldn't take it anymore. He sat next to her.
“Nora, you know you can tell me anything,” he said and gave her a side hug.
“Even if it hurts you?” She asked him and there he had to face what he knew had been going on for a while.
“It's about us, right?”
"Yeah. We can't be together. I'm so sorry, Earl. I didn't want to do this. I really wanted this to work. I wanted...I wanted to fall in love with you,” she told him and he smiled as best he could. He already knew it. He had noticed a long time ago. It was just that he didn't want to accept it.
“Nora, I just want to see you healthy and happy. I don't care if it's without me,” he told her and she looked at him with teary eyes.
“I still want you in my life, just not as a boyfriend.”
“Who says we can't be friends?”
Nora was a little surprised by his attitude. That wasn't the answer she was expecting at all.
“You don't hate me or feel angry at me?”
“Let's see, Nora, I can't ask you for more than what you can give me. It was my fault for asking you for more than that. Obviously it hurts but I will get over it and learn to live with it. I'm not going to be stuck on this,” he told her though he knew it was going to be difficult. Any breakup is difficult. It was going to take some time but it was going to be fine.
“I'm guilty for not telling you sooner though.”
“Hey, that's in the past. Let's not look for who to blame,” he said and Nora still couldn't assimilate what had just happened. It was going to be fine. Everything was going to be okay now. It wasn't as bad as she thought it would be.
“Have you already had breakfast? I made breakfast,” he told her and she laughed. Then they had breakfast together as they’d do before. She even told him about her plans and how she was looking for publishers to publish her book. They were already great friends as they once were. As it should have always been.
Afterwards she went out to do something she had pending. She had to make things right with someone. She was dying to tell him that everything was going to be fine in her life now. Everything was going to be fine in the life she wanted to share with him. Once again she was at the door of Mateo's apartment waiting for him to open. It didn't take him long to open the door nor could he help but smile when he saw her there.
“I already did it, Mateo. I just told Earl that we couldn't stay together and surprisingly he is okay," she told him and he couldn't help but feel proud of her.
“Come in, Nora. Come in and tell me how you feel,” he said and she went in.
“I feel good. Strangely, I feel very good. I feel like I've taken control of my life again,” she said, not believing her words. She never thought she would reach that moment in her life.
“Congratulations, Nora. I've wanted to see you this way since I met you,” he said and hugged her.
“I have something else I have to do,” she told him and he stopped hugging her to look at her.
“And that is?” He asked her and she smiled shyly.
“Mateo, do you want to be my boyfriend?” She asked him nervously and he smiled.
“Yes, Nora. Obviously yes,” he told her and hugged her again, only this time when they separated they looked at each other briefly and she kissed him.
From that day on, Nora changed the way she looked at her life. Now she only needed to receive a positive response from a publisher, although she was already thinking about other ways to publish her book. In the end it was not necessary because after two more rejections she received three yeses.
“Mateo, they are offering me one hundred thousand dollars for publishing my book,” she told him over the phone after she opened her email of her last offer.
“Nora, that's amazing! That's such a good start," he said and a few days later she accepted the offer. That was just the beginning of her story. But she was going to be patient because she was no longer unhappy.